I had a bit of cycling today. I woke up feeling pretty miserable - exhausted, cranky, sad. By about 10:00am, I was chipper and giggling, didn't feel the need to eat, kind of reckless - not exactly great at work. Cut to 2:30pm, back to miserable. Headache, frustrated, bored, sad.
I made myself listen to happy music on the way home and take a lot of deep breaths and it helped. I think this is just symptoms of the illness being brought on by shifts in my eating/sleeping (DEFINITELY SLEEPING) schedule this week because of time constraints, it getting dark earlier and knowing winter is coming, and also feeling a bit overloaded and powerless in terms of the whole job thing.
My moods haven't been drastic, nor terribly worrisome, but it does get exhausting switching back and forth which really just exaggerates the problems. I wouldn't mind being in one mental place, more or less, for a few days. C'est La Vie.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
First Step
Well....I'm very tired today. Feel like I haven't slept right in weeks.
Sleeping on schedule, in general, but especially when struggling with mental illness, is very important. It helps keep stress and tension down, promotes a more balanced and schedule lifestle, and promotes overall well-being.
Ok, that's your PSA of the day. Sorry folks...bit too exhausted to really go on anymore.
Sleeping on schedule, in general, but especially when struggling with mental illness, is very important. It helps keep stress and tension down, promotes a more balanced and schedule lifestle, and promotes overall well-being.
Ok, that's your PSA of the day. Sorry folks...bit too exhausted to really go on anymore.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Apologies Again. And good news!!
Must apologize again for long lapse in posting, although in my defense, it was pretty much out of my hands. My cable and internet lines were down Sunday to Saturday, which has been inconvenient to say the least. Didn't have time for a repairman to come out until yesterday, but at least it finally happened! Huzzah!
So anyway, here I am again, ready and rarin' to go!
and More Good News!
SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOHOOOOOOO
Nothing could have made my weekend more than that - being from CA originally, and having a family that literally breathes Giants baseball (seriously, my grandmother has a personalized license plate with a Giants saying on it and has for 30 years), it's pretty exciting. I'm so so happy!
Although it also helped that I went to a Halloween Dog Costume parade yesterday, which was pretty unbearably adorable. Normally I have qualms about putting dogs/any animals in costumes, but I have to say, every single person and dog I saw yesterday just seemed super excited and to be having a great time. I will post some pictures later on this week.
And soon! Halloween!! Anyone have any exciting plans or costumes? I'm still thinking about mine. I love Halloween. Everyone can get a little crazy and be different.
So all is well in Bipolar Betty's world. Hope that's the same for the rest of you - get excited about the little things! And Halloween! and the GIANTS!!
So anyway, here I am again, ready and rarin' to go!
and More Good News!
SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS ARE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WOOOOOHOOOOOOO
Nothing could have made my weekend more than that - being from CA originally, and having a family that literally breathes Giants baseball (seriously, my grandmother has a personalized license plate with a Giants saying on it and has for 30 years), it's pretty exciting. I'm so so happy!
Although it also helped that I went to a Halloween Dog Costume parade yesterday, which was pretty unbearably adorable. Normally I have qualms about putting dogs/any animals in costumes, but I have to say, every single person and dog I saw yesterday just seemed super excited and to be having a great time. I will post some pictures later on this week.
And soon! Halloween!! Anyone have any exciting plans or costumes? I'm still thinking about mine. I love Halloween. Everyone can get a little crazy and be different.
So all is well in Bipolar Betty's world. Hope that's the same for the rest of you - get excited about the little things! And Halloween! and the GIANTS!!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Slowest. Week. Ever.
Ughhhhh, I can't believe it's only Thursday. This week has been DRAGGING! I don't even have exciting plans this weekend that I'm in a rush to get to - I'm just ready for the week to end and to move on to the next one. Jeezy Creezy.
In the meantime, since I'm feeling a tad bit brain dead (as in nothing's working), here's a picture I took of a seal in Howth, Ireland on my recent trip! Doesn't it look like he's being playful flirty?? I hope you enjoy.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Living Life
When watching tv with my roommate tonight, something came up that reminded me that when I was high school, I went through a pretty intense phase of wanting to drop out of school and start living what I considered an "adult" life. It actually got to the point where I brought it up with my mother a couple times, which is a sign of what a big deal it was as during that time, I was not highly communicative and especially not with my family.
I bet you anything my mom doesn't remember this at all.
The thing is, I wasn't part of a circle where it was part of the social norm, or structure I guess, for people to drop out of high school. Really quite the opposite I went to a fairly prestigious all girls private boarding school where most of the student body came from well-off families and dropping out....well it really just wasn't done. And it most certainly wasn't done in my family. I didn't want to quit because I disliked my school; I actually really enjoyed going there and I had a lot of friends. What I started to hate was the idea of being in school, of continuing to learn what I was told to learn, and then the idea of living the prescribed lifestyle of college and business job and etc., etc. I was never a big fan of school as I found it boring, but I was able to deal with it and focus on all the other parts of school (besides classes) I did enjoy. I think I just became afraid I would be bored for the rest of my life. That's actually I fear I still have - being bored for too much of my life.
I remember thinking that I would be entirely satisfied by moving to some tiny town, getting whatever job was around, and just living my life. Perhaps I would have been. But I sincerely doubt it would have been as smooth and easy as I kept projecting in my head. It's easy to glamorize things when you're not having to live them.
I bet you anything my mom doesn't remember this at all.
The thing is, I wasn't part of a circle where it was part of the social norm, or structure I guess, for people to drop out of high school. Really quite the opposite I went to a fairly prestigious all girls private boarding school where most of the student body came from well-off families and dropping out....well it really just wasn't done. And it most certainly wasn't done in my family. I didn't want to quit because I disliked my school; I actually really enjoyed going there and I had a lot of friends. What I started to hate was the idea of being in school, of continuing to learn what I was told to learn, and then the idea of living the prescribed lifestyle of college and business job and etc., etc. I was never a big fan of school as I found it boring, but I was able to deal with it and focus on all the other parts of school (besides classes) I did enjoy. I think I just became afraid I would be bored for the rest of my life. That's actually I fear I still have - being bored for too much of my life.
I remember thinking that I would be entirely satisfied by moving to some tiny town, getting whatever job was around, and just living my life. Perhaps I would have been. But I sincerely doubt it would have been as smooth and easy as I kept projecting in my head. It's easy to glamorize things when you're not having to live them.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Apologies
My apologies for the inconsistency of posting. Between preparing for the trip, recovering from the trip, getting back into the swing of things at work while trying to look for other work, and having out of state relatives and friends visiting, things have been a bit hectic.
Part of that has also been my reconsidering this blog - not doing it, but what tone I'm trying to take. Being bipolar isn't a joke, but it can be funny. It can be absurd and overwhelming and ridiculous and horribly hard, but it's so important to have a sense of humor to ride all of those feelings out. I feel like this blog has been a little too much of plain dumping ground, and while I want that honesty, I also need to bring a little more perspective in. I think it's a learning process. We'll see what happens.
In the meantime.....I still have a lot of apples.
Part of that has also been my reconsidering this blog - not doing it, but what tone I'm trying to take. Being bipolar isn't a joke, but it can be funny. It can be absurd and overwhelming and ridiculous and horribly hard, but it's so important to have a sense of humor to ride all of those feelings out. I feel like this blog has been a little too much of plain dumping ground, and while I want that honesty, I also need to bring a little more perspective in. I think it's a learning process. We'll see what happens.
In the meantime.....I still have a lot of apples.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Happy!
Today, I went apple-picking and then to a play. It was a great day. Never underestimate the value of beautiful skies, fresh air, and some friends. It really made me feel relaxed and reminded me why I love my life so much.
And now I have about 30 lbs of apples. Besides eating, I want to make an apple crisp, apple fritters, and an apple and cheddar pizza. Anyone else have any recipe ideas?
And now I have about 30 lbs of apples. Besides eating, I want to make an apple crisp, apple fritters, and an apple and cheddar pizza. Anyone else have any recipe ideas?
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