I am, at the best of times, considered to be a bit "absent-minded". Also a bit...quirky and...odd. Probably not much more than other people, but quite likely more publicly especially when with my good friends.
This is where being bipolar comes in handy - I get to laugh about it and anytime I'm called out to answer my oddities...I simply have to say, "because I'm crazy" or some variation thereof. It works so well for so many things!! Examples:
"Why did you leave the bag of rice in your bedroom?" - Cause I'm crazy.
"Why won't you eat the first piece of cheese?" - Dude that shit weirds me out. And I'm crazy.
"Who are you talking to?" - Myself. Bitch, I told you I be crazyy! (ok, I've actually never said that - but along those lines)
The thing is, I never mean it seriously. I mean, I am crazy - but it's not using my bipolarness as an excuse. It's just fun to me that I get to be light-hearted about it and make fun of myself. I like laughing, I like to find the positive or ridiculousness in something and this does it for me.
Because I'm crazy
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crazy. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Whyyy are you talking to me??
Every once in a while, I have days where I really really need to be left alone. I doubt I'm the only one.
During these days, I do my best to keep my head down and just barrel through the day until I can get home and be in my own space, but that's not always a possibility. I work in a pretty heavy face to face interaction/open communication position, so regardless of how I'm feeling, I have to be able to push it back and do my best to have patience and be calm when someone is talking to or asking something of me. Even if the idea of someone merely saying hello is enough to make me want to scream and howl with indignation. I'm a people-pleaser so when I have days like this and I realize that it's my own issue, not even anyone demanding too much from me, I become twice as frustrated and unhappy with however I react to anything.
It makes for a super fun day!!
Today was one of those days, and naturally, I had three pretty major issues come up that had to be immediately addressed and all I could do was pace myself. Anything that didn't immediately need to get done got shafted, and you know, I'm completely comfortable with that. Yes, I will probably have more to do tomorrow than I would like, but I got through the day without being hauled away because I lost it when someone asked to borrow a pen. Success!
Now I just have to hope I won't feel the same way tomorrow....
During these days, I do my best to keep my head down and just barrel through the day until I can get home and be in my own space, but that's not always a possibility. I work in a pretty heavy face to face interaction/open communication position, so regardless of how I'm feeling, I have to be able to push it back and do my best to have patience and be calm when someone is talking to or asking something of me. Even if the idea of someone merely saying hello is enough to make me want to scream and howl with indignation. I'm a people-pleaser so when I have days like this and I realize that it's my own issue, not even anyone demanding too much from me, I become twice as frustrated and unhappy with however I react to anything.
It makes for a super fun day!!
Today was one of those days, and naturally, I had three pretty major issues come up that had to be immediately addressed and all I could do was pace myself. Anything that didn't immediately need to get done got shafted, and you know, I'm completely comfortable with that. Yes, I will probably have more to do tomorrow than I would like, but I got through the day without being hauled away because I lost it when someone asked to borrow a pen. Success!
Now I just have to hope I won't feel the same way tomorrow....
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
The Formal Introduction
Greetings, All!
So, after a little bit of an accidental mini-break, I am back on my meds and RIP-RARIN' TO GO!
Well, sort of. Close enough anyway.
Let's start this journey!
This is the first day of my blog, and I must admit, I am pretty excited about it. I figured with the restarting of all my meds and whatnot, as well as generally trying to bring a little more structure into my life, this could be a really good thing for me and hopefully, not just for me. There's a lot that can be read about Bipolar Disorder(s) and information on meds, therapies, etc., but it's a little harder to get the personal perspective and to me, that feeling of connection, of recognition of someone else's words has always been beyond reassuring. They've been straws to grasp at.
Melodrama aside and speaking of medication, here's the nitty-gritty:
I'm diagnosed as Bipolar II - meaning instead of full-blown mania, I tend to cycle into hypomania which is similar, but generally less intense and usually doesn't tip over into full delusion - more along the lines of lots of energy and desire for chaos. I'm sure this will get discussed more in-depth as I go along.
I'm also considered to be rapid-cycling. Basically, I go back and forth from hypomania and depression very quickly - sometimes in a matter of days, even hours. For those who are unfamiliar, that doesn't mean that I'm bouncing back and forth all the time, 365 days a year. I have periods of non-extremes as well. Those just aren't as worth talking about :)
The medications I'm currently on are Lithium, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Klonopin and Restoril. For me, the Klonopin and Restoril, while generally taken every day, don't need to be and are kind of on an as-needed basis to deal with anxiety and insomnia, respectively. The rest are musts every day. This is just my personal medicinal schedule and what has been prescribed to me. Please don't assume this will also work for you. Also, please don't come find me and rob me for my pills. I need them.
So anyway, those are the basics of my disorder. Good to know, but really just the background to what this is about - the day to day life of a Bipolar. It's pretty crazy.
So, after a little bit of an accidental mini-break, I am back on my meds and RIP-RARIN' TO GO!
Well, sort of. Close enough anyway.
Let's start this journey!
This is the first day of my blog, and I must admit, I am pretty excited about it. I figured with the restarting of all my meds and whatnot, as well as generally trying to bring a little more structure into my life, this could be a really good thing for me and hopefully, not just for me. There's a lot that can be read about Bipolar Disorder(s) and information on meds, therapies, etc., but it's a little harder to get the personal perspective and to me, that feeling of connection, of recognition of someone else's words has always been beyond reassuring. They've been straws to grasp at.
Melodrama aside and speaking of medication, here's the nitty-gritty:
I'm diagnosed as Bipolar II - meaning instead of full-blown mania, I tend to cycle into hypomania which is similar, but generally less intense and usually doesn't tip over into full delusion - more along the lines of lots of energy and desire for chaos. I'm sure this will get discussed more in-depth as I go along.
I'm also considered to be rapid-cycling. Basically, I go back and forth from hypomania and depression very quickly - sometimes in a matter of days, even hours. For those who are unfamiliar, that doesn't mean that I'm bouncing back and forth all the time, 365 days a year. I have periods of non-extremes as well. Those just aren't as worth talking about :)
The medications I'm currently on are Lithium, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Klonopin and Restoril. For me, the Klonopin and Restoril, while generally taken every day, don't need to be and are kind of on an as-needed basis to deal with anxiety and insomnia, respectively. The rest are musts every day. This is just my personal medicinal schedule and what has been prescribed to me. Please don't assume this will also work for you. Also, please don't come find me and rob me for my pills. I need them.
So anyway, those are the basics of my disorder. Good to know, but really just the background to what this is about - the day to day life of a Bipolar. It's pretty crazy.
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