Follow-up

Yesterday, there was hope.
Today....

Paranoia is already setting in.  As well as my feeling like I need to defend my intense need for freedom.

You know what else is "in-tense"? Boy Scouts.

Man, that joke works better when you just say it aloud.

Apparently nervous tension is also showing its face.  What fun for me!!

Tempted to try taking another anxiety pill, but really it won't do much - besides....is it such a bad thing to have nervous jitters when talking about potentially liking someone?

Oh right. Yes - in fact, it kind of sucks.

In the meantime, getting excited for a holiday weekend! I hope everyone has something to be thankful for.  If you are in the unhappy position of not feeling like you do, please believe me when I say that will eventually change.  There will be a time, probably sooner than you believe, where there will be something worth saying thank you for.

I promise.

New Start

Dating and relationships are hard under the best of circumstances.  Being bipolar - well, I wouldn't call it the best of circumstances.  I generally shy away from anything that might be a romantic connection because I hate the idea of wondering how they feel, how I feel, if I can control my moods around them, and if I should tell them - hey, I'm crazy.  There is NO good time to bring that up.  Someone let me know if you've found otherwise.

The stress of it actually can be a trigger for me and make me uberparanoid.  About everything.  I also have serious doubts about my ability to withstand heartbreak.  Now, I know I don't need to enter every relationship thinking about the what ifs and jumping into the future...but quite frankly, I find it fairly difficult to just completely ignore it.  To some degree, I must be utterly girly and overanalyze.  But because I hate this, I usually avoid it.

Usually.  Recently, in an effort to take more chances and to determine what it is I want and like in my life, I agreed to meet a couple new people.  One of whom I met tonight.

All I can say is I am certainly glad I did. We will see what happens.