STRESS, Stress, stress

Stress is another enemy of mine, although I believe this one to be much more universal.  Stress can have a major effect on mood and on physical health without people even really realizing.  And if you're bipolar, stress is one of the major triggers for an episode.

I'm generally a pretty laid-back person and there isn't a lot that phases me.  I tend to have pretty high anxiety levels but that has more to do with I'm a worrier more than I actually get stressed out.  However, because of this, I usually don't realize when stress is building and I have a tendency to ignore it until...well, until I simply can't anymore and either feel it physically or just shut down. I basically have to be forced to recognize it.

Well, today...today, I had a moment of realization that I getting close to a breaking point.  I'm heading to Europe for a trip in a couple of weeks with 5 friends, and while I'm extremely excited, it's been close to a year of planning and I'm just at this point of having to think of all the tiny details and figuring out what I need to bring and figuring out currency and making sure I have enough money....and well, the list goes on and on.  Added to that, a variety of things at work, and naturally, it's at this point in time that basically all the electronic equipment in my life has decided to up and quit on me.  My laptop was an issue that took me over a month to get resolved and while it is now, that was a huge interruption in my life.  Then a couple weeks after that, my very much beloved Nikon D70 started flashing error messages at me.  Because I was so wrapped up in my computer drama, I didn't address it nearly as soon as I should have, although in all honesty, it would only have given me an edge of about 3 days.

I sent it to Nikon for servicing because when I called in the issue, the rep. told me it sounded like a known problem and they had a service advisory, meaning I wouldn't have to pay for repairs.  However, today I received an email detailing the issues and asking me to authorize the repairs....for 300 dollars. I kind of lost it.  I love my camera and I need my camera...but 300 dollars? I could essentially buy another camera body for that money...which is also money I'm really not looking to spend right now seeing as I'm going to Europe.  I couldn't breathe and I immediately started to feel my whole body tense up and my mind begin to race.  I felt a huge surge of rage at the circumstances and also body-trembling panic at the thought that I might not have a camera for my trip. It just all felt like way too much and I couldn't even gather my senses enough to deal with anything.

So that lasted for a ridiculous and annoying 10 minutes or so until I finally calmed down, started breathing normally again, and just decided to deal with it and move on.  I can only do what I can.  So I called Nikon, asked them to check again to make sure my issue wasn't the same as the one that the service advisory warned about.  In the meantime, since there's no way they'll get it back to me before I leave, I started looking into used camera bodies and have realized I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and pay for it - that's what credit cards and hoping for a raise is for.
Life is short and money is just money.....or so I keep telling myself anyway...

I calmed down and I feel relatively under control...but I'm annoyed that kind of stress got the better of me. Ef that.