Saturday, September 11, 2010

The Enemy

For me, for my emotional stability, the enemy is boredom.  I cannot be bored because that's when my mind starts working overtime and goes crazy.

I'm not talking boredom like "oh, there's not much going on at work" or "Sunday afternoon and I'm just sitting around".  While I can be bored during those times as well, that's a temporary boredom and quite frankly, isn't a major problem for me.  I've always been pretty good at entertaining myself and am quite content to just sit by myself - during periods of mental stability, anyway.

When I say I can't be bored, I mean that I must always have something going on - a project, an idea, something to occupy my time and my mind all the time.  Something I can always have in the back of my head to work on and think about, even while I'm doing other things.  It fills the empty spaces.  Usually, it's something personal, something I'm interested in and have a desire to do or learn about.  It lets me have something to look forward to, to dream about and think about.  It gives me hope. Even if I'm having an off day or if I'm floating too far off in a world of my own, it's a concrete thing that will anchor me, even if it's only in my head.

Boredom makes me my own enemy.

2 comments:

  1. I honestly can't tell you how relieved I am to see you write about this because I think it about myself *all* the time. I grapple with anxiety every day and when I let my mind do it's own thing without putting on the training wheels, watch out. My mind will find something to fixate on and has the tendency to beat the living hell out of a dead horse, metaphorically speaking. My subconscious, anxiety-riddled mind is my enemy, too.

    -Kelly

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kelly, thanks so much for your comment - I'm glad someone can relate! I will definitely be talking about this more in the future because, as I'm sure you know, it can really hijack your mind.

    ReplyDelete